Exhaustion ?

I am really out of shape recently.

Besides running, which has shown some significant progress, I completely lost all my motivation when I entereed the gym. Consequently I skipped all the exercises scheduled for that day after doing just 3 sets of chest press and 3 sets of quadriceps extensions. I felt so bored that I didn't want to do any more working out.

I left the gym one hour later. Normally I would spend time in the gym for at least 2 hours.

I'm like shit now, my muscles now are just as soft as tou fu.

My weight has been going down recently, probably because I have only had 2 meals every day. I slept very late at night and when I woke up, it's already noon.

Anyway, I just woke up and there's nothing much for me to do, so I just blog for a while. Another boring day.

I hope I get the job. The pay was so good for a student like me so I just can't wait to start working and save some cash on my own.

Last night, Rahmat gave me some of his views about fate, failure and success, which I thought might be true since it seems convincingly philosophically rational. That was something from the Koran also so I wouldn't doubt it.

"If you already have planned everything clearly and worked so hard, and when you achieved your target, then it's called success. Instead, if you already have planned everything clearly and also worked very hard, but you didn't get the resuts you want, then certainly it's fate. But, if you didn't plan anything, and not working for the target at all, and on the day you didn't get what you want, now it's called failure."

"Basically it's just fate that you didn't make it to Hwa Chong, because you already planned everything and worked very hard for it for more than one year. your target is very clear but, probably it's fate. Hwa Chong is not meant for you. God already has a plan for you and Hwa Chong wasn't in it. All you need to do now is accept your fate and continue working hard toward the goal that has been given to you by god."

Personally I think I am more lucky than many other people. Rahmat lost his mother and today is his Anniversary for his death. And for me I think Rahmat is a really strong person. He could handle his emotion so well that surprised me extremely. Who could have controlled his emotion when a mother passed away? I don't think I can.

When I was talking to him, Rahmat tried his best not to cry, but I could sea a tear drop from the corner on his eye, slowly rolling down his nose, as he talked to me about his mother's story, and how he isolated himself from others and if I'm not wrong, there was a moment when Rahmat became a complete freak in 5N1 that scared everyone to death.

Anyway, forwarding to midnight, when I was pondering about Rahmat's view on my fate.

"So it's fate you get a B3 for your English, huh? Because it's Valkyrie, not Valkerie, Anniversary, not Aniversary, and grief, not grieve." I kept correcting his mistakes when he put his display messages on his MSN.

"Well Tony, I think you should have got an A2 instead of B3, because you keep correcting me. xD" I don't know whether he was trying to be sarcastic, so I just played along.

"fate, Rahmat, fate." Maybe in Comprehension part, I didn't do a very good job. And probably my story was not at all interesting either. Who knows?

It's time to brush my teeth and and breakfast at 11:30 AM.